Strength

I have since undergone a repairing of my damage
My life has direction, albeit little.
I know what I am, and where I belong.
I enjoy being awake now.
But dreaming is still nice.
I don't know what I need to do.
But I know that I'm going to try.

I don't have to fold.
I have something to stop me.
Keep me intact, as it were.
A skeleton is in place.
Frame holding me through all.
I can't claim to understand why.
But that doesn't mean I disapprove.

I am still weak.
My body shakes as I lie in bed.
Annoyances that I can never name.
No single part of my body, the whole cries out.
There's no end in sight for it.
But, now that I consider it.
I like it more that way.

My dreams seem to be fading.
They're not as violent as they were.
Nor are they idyllic.
Some would think that bad.
But now, when I consider it myself.
I have to think it's better.
Now, my mind doesn't need an escape.

My body still goes limp on occasion.
When I'm forced to be alone.
But now, it goes limp with purpose.
As I desire something that I lack.
Before, it was escape from my day.
Now, it is release.
Back into it.

I still want to release control sometimes.
But I have found that a seizure is not the way.
What I need is something stronger.
And I think that I have found it.
Better than any other drug.
Better than my life previous.
Oxytocin.