Death's got more than a cousin, he's got a whole damn family tree.
Up in that tree, hanging from a rope, you've got a corpse named Me.
The sturdiest branch is named Depression, now that's Death's uncle, and he's holding onto the rope.
He's an intermittent alcoholic, but his family and friends ignore it. It's just him being eccentric, and at least he's not abusing dope.
Depression's got a twin sister, and her name is Mania. She says that she's healthy even though she's flat broke.
Blew all her money on facebook games, now the food budget's been cut short. That's why she's got a daughter named Starvation, a private little joke.
And Depression has a son, he neglects him but he's there.
A young gentleman by the name of Love, every time he sees a pretty girl he stops to stare.
Love's favorite relative is his Grandfather, Psychosis.
Reality seems so sweet until Grandma Hope has one of her fits.
And on the other side, you've got Papa; Pain, the patriarch of the whole outfit.
The motivation for the others to continue, what drives them through all the bullshit.
His long-standing mistress, Misery, the reason everyone wants to quit.
She's the matron now, her desires and word are now writ.
She dotes on his grandson, Suicide, the black sheep that is Death's best friend.
Pain's ex-wife, Abuse, has become a pariah and is ignored thanks to the message she sends.
And Suicide's brother, Sleep, is a symptom of a much larger cause.
Their parents, Self-Loathing and Apathy, are overbearing and grip them in their jaws.
But Death loves his entire family, each and every one, flawed as they might be.
Because if it weren't for their support, he'd never capture people like You and Me.